You are not alone. There are many reasons tick borne illness can put the brakes on your libido or your partners. As a result frequency and enjoyment of sex goes way down. Healing your sex life is part of the healing journey to reclaim your life post Lyme
Recent small scale studies do show that Lyme reduces libido. Wikipedia defines Libido is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. Lyme makes working tough and increases stress in every aspect of your life. There is a lot of data that supports job dissatisfaction, depression and stress all impact sexual desire in a negative way. No desire No sex.
The Realities Of Lyme That Quash Sexual Desire
Pain & Join Stiffness
Tick borne illness can generate a lot of joint and soft tissue pain. Your body response to touch changes when you are in sick and in pain. Being touched can be excruciating and takes any thought of sex out of the picture. You turn inward to move away from overwhelming hurt. Pain and exhaustion put you into survival mode and make being present for your partner almost impossible much of the time.
Fatigue & Exhaustion
Tick Borne illness figuratively sucks the life force out of you. Exhaustion and fatigue are the norm for months at a time. Intimacy takes effort. You have to have energy and make time for it. When you feel like you aren’t doing your part to maintain intimacy guilt can make you withdraw further.
Anxiety & Depression
Anxiety, Depression and other mental illness impact your desire and sex life in a negative way. These are two common side effects of tick borne illness. Lyme makes you begin to feel like you can’t trust your body or mind.
Losing your way on the way back from the grocery, forgetting appointments and general brain fog increase anxiety. You loose any sense of control of your life. In addition the some of the medications prescribed for these conditions actively decrease libido
Reclaim Your Love & Sex Life
Look each other straight in the eye and communicate about what is going on and how you feel. No guilting, blaming or shaming. Treat each other with Loving Kindness.
Deep Honest communication is its own form of intimacy. It is easy to neglect communication intimacy when life is busy and things are hopping between the sheets. Take this opportunity to strengthen your relationship in ways you may have neglected.
Look For Ways To Touch That Feel Good
Build desire for touch and connection with your partner. Move with your partner, go for a gentle walk with your partner to help them loosen up. Scratch their back when they are itchy, give them a foot rub when their feet ache.
Heck wash their back in the shower or help them out of the tub when they need it. Hold each other in bed with no expectations of sex. Explore all kinds of physical contact, the comfort and pleasure it can bring.
Explore Physical Intimacy In New Ways
Toss the routine of sex after an evening out. It may be all your partner can do to go out. Be flexible and if you feel good go for it. Snuggle mid afternoon on the weekend or before dinner before you crash from exhaustion at the end of the day.
Widen your definition of sex if intercourse is just too strenuous. Help your partner to orgasm in ways that work in their body. Ask them how they feel they can help you. This can be deeply satisfying and closes the gap from no sex back to more regular sex as you recover and get stronger.
Lyme disease can make it challenging to have an active sex life. When sick and fighting for your life, it can take all you have to stay loving with your partner. It is worth the work to ensure that as you progress on your healing journey your sex life will also recover.
The purpose of this blog is to share and educate on Lyme disease recovery strategies. The information provided is not a substitute for professional medical care, treatment or advice. All the material here is for information purposes only. Always share strategy and work with your health care team.